christmas

well, woke up at around 10 this day. (oh that was 30 mins ago). i did not drink much last night. i don't want my family to see me wasted. That's the reason why i don't go home whenever i had a drinking spree somewhere.

just drank enough for me to doze myself to sleep and enjoy the season.

well, i do have reasons to celebrate this occassion. it's the one moment of the year where all family issues are resolved as if it never happened. everyone seems to be in such a mood to just forget what happened.

i am with my family, and for that, i am happy.

thoughts of a bum... a confused bum...

it has been days now since I started to live in a bum manner. I usually wake up at 10, eat brunch, watch television or listen to songs until I doze myself to sleep again. I try to exercise once in a while, in the forms of routine, or dance.

I love watching TV shows because it allows me to stop thinking for a while. I allow myself to be so passive. I immerse myself in the world of scenes and sequences. I really don’t have to think because I have no critique papers about shows (for now).

But since the start of the Christmas vacation, I curse watching TV shows or listening to music, even if it is the only thing to do. I curse these activities, because now, they further stimulate me to think and contemplate on things about my life.

I see my life as a collage of all the scenes and lines in shows and songs - collage that do not make sense to me, because the pieces contradict one another. Images I see, or lines I hear, point to a part of my life. And no matter how hard I try to avoid them, I just can’t.

they say that there are always two sides of the story. Well, I guess, it also applies to thoughts and emotions as well. That is how I feel right now. Being torn into pieces. Being shattered.

Everyday is a debate day for me. 24 hours a day, seven days a week, including holidays and Sundays. What I thought was resolved the day before comes back to haunt me today.
The debate doesn’t seem to stop. It piles up, and comes back again.

The Supreme Court does better work than me I guess. Once an issue is resolved, there is no more coming back! How I wish I could do that. (for one thing, I can smash my head with the gavel to end the misery…)

How I wish that there is an arbiter in me somewhere. The pressure is just too much. Me fighting me for a chance of happiness. Me trying to defeat me just to have a decision that I can call my own. Something that can make me have a stand on. Pathetic. Sadistic even (Without the sexual connotation. Please.) In the end, a part of me will have to lose. And someone has to go with the losing.

How I wish that this is just an issue of me. How I wish that I am the only one stuck in this situation. But that is not the case.

I am not the only one in this chess game who lost the ability to know where one should stand. No more patterns. No more turns. Only three pieces waiting for each other’s moves.

Contemplating led me that this is a situation of choice. But with the state I am in, it is as hard as to celebrate the Christmas as if nothing happened. I can say that this is the saddest Christmas ever. Maybe because I still don’t have the gift that I asked for: Peace of mind. Something that I cannot as of now because the only person who can give that to me is myself.

I never anticipated such an event. Not even the realization about me. I realized that I am the kind of person who does and says things, not for anything else but the things I feel. I say things not in reference to time past or future. I say things for the sake of NOW. And I have realized how dangerous it is to do that. NOW is such a dangerous time, because it is neither constant nor independent.

I look at the past and see the things that I was able to say and do. I look at them now in tears, in disappointment and failure. Not just for my own sake, but for others too. It is too late to go back. And it is too early to move on.

Someone asked me what really hurts me and bothers me at the moment. I can’t answer, because there are many things that a call or texts cannot accommodate.

I am hurt because I am so weak. If I am not, then I shouldn’t be in this position. The truth punched me right in the face.

I am hurt because the circumstances are playing with my emotions. Play with the other aspects of my life but please not my emotions.

I am hurt because I feel that I played with someone else’s emotions too. I failed to live my principle: of not doing unto others what I don’t want others to do unto me.

I am hurt because I brought persons with me in this situation.

I am hurt because I think that I cannot achieve happiness easily. Just the thought of hurting someone hinders me to be happy.

I am hurt because every time I watch television shows, they all tend to say that Christmas is about making other people happy. That did hurt me the most. It has to happen a few days before Christmas. It has to happen when all persons are expected to be happy.

I am hurt because it is very hard to choose. I am in this position again when I have to choose.

I am hurt because I failed, and I have this feeling that I will fail again.

I am hurt because I have myself to blame for all of these things.

I am hurt because the past haunts me. I am hurt because the future haunts me.

I am hurt because I have to live with these.

I am hurt because I am at a position where I have to decide. And many people will be affected with my decision. Many things are at stake here. Including happiness and its counterpart.

I am hurt because I have been given the time to think about it, and still as days pass by, I always go back to square one.

Where will these lead me to? Where will these lead us to?

It seems that I am not a bum. With all those things running in my mind, I have all the reasons not to allow my body to work in a while.

who am i?

i am back to that question again.

i am again at a point when i need to assess the things in my life.

batugan

since vacation, wala pa ata akong nagagawa para macompensate ang calories na inabsorb ko.

except last time na nag-mall hopping ako sa sm karuhatan to sm marilao. it was quite a day. ayos naman ang mood ko when i left the house. naasar lang ako suddenly habang naglalakad.

then i realized kung bakit. kasi gutom na pala akoa t hindi ko namalayan dahil sa hirap ko na makipagsiksikan sa mga estudyante na may christmas party kinabukasn.

nang makakain na me, balik na sa mall stroll mode.

haaaaaayyy...

blue magic really is a place to go to pag ayaw mong mag-isip ng gift. my sister asked my help that day in picking gifts for her friends.

well, practical siya kasi di ko naman kilala ang friends niya at di kami close para malaman ang preferences nila.

pero pagdating sa mga reregaluhan ko, mas gusto ko ang ibibigay ko ay may part ng sarili ko. thoughts, memories, effort, or otherwise.

sana nga lang hindi ako magipit ngayon.

hehe...

mixed, trashed. everything...

this year has been a heck of a ride. and i guess, i really never thought that as this year ends, it's going to be a lot tougher.
i have never felt so restless, so helpless, so confused.
maybe, things are beginning to turn back on me.
the past that haunted me once came back. i tried not to be affected. but now, all i can do is look back on things that led me to where i am now.
i never expected to be in the situation where i am in right now.
all that i wanted is to be happy, while avoiding to step on others' feelings.
ironic. even paradoxical.
minding the fact that in this world, some things that can make you happy will cause someone else's miseries.
i tried to ignore the things that i am heading for, trying to believe that things will be better if i leave it at that.
but i decided to face these things.
sometimes, i feel like asking if what i am doing is right, confronting things that can knock me off.
i feel like i am making it heavier to bear for myself.
right now, i am thinking about those persons whom i consider important. those that i have allowed to become a part of my life in or out of a commitment.
i am thinking of how they made my life happy during those moments that we were together.
of how they made me realize that i am capable of being loved.
but all those memories came with the thoughts of how i made their lives miserable.
of how i destroyed a realtionship that was once ideal.
i guess loving me is a sin. that is why i became their punishment for doing so.
and i have expected them to curse me for ruining their lives.
that would have been better.
feeling the blows, hearing the words of anger, of hatred. of grudge, even.
these things will make me a bit better.
at least i got what i think is due.
but then i get what is the exact opposite.
those people understanding the situation.
those people accepting me for who i am, weakness and all.
suddenly, i want the earth to open up, and engulf me.
i want the seas to bring me someplace where i cannot interact with other people.
maybe, solidary life is not bad at all.
you wouldn't be happy but you wouldn't hurt someone else.
come to think of it.
in the situation where i am in right now,
if i choose, i can be happy.
but the thought of hurting someone will just lead me to be sad.
it's as if i wasn't given the opportunity to be happy at all.

bakit?

my life is getting a bit bumpy now.

i am at a point wherein i have to weigh things, contemplate, and decide on matters about my life, and others'.

it must have been easier if it is only about me. but the case is, it is not just about me anymore.

i survived when i got hurt in the past. but it's hard to recover if you know for a fact that someone got hurt because of my actions.

my head and my heart aches. cliche, but true...

think... think... think...

i really need to think now.

i don't want to make a mistake.

lives are at stake.

we are talking about people here, including myself.

whatever the outcome would be, my life will change. drastically.

balance...

while checking my friendster account (that i do everyday, coz i am a net addcit...), i found this message from a new found friend that i had a chat with this afternoon.

his message made me think... really. when he said that i balance myself prety well, i really am clueless by what it meant.

there are many things that are happening in my life. sometimes, i just see my self tangled in all these events. i am helpless, so to speak. sometimes, i see myself crying, punching the wall near my bed, throwing tamtrums, killing myself by exercising till i drop... all those things.

siguro, it's a matter of choosing to be happy, and finding reasons to be happy amidst all the negative things in life. our life goes on and on, unless we decide to stop.

in the past, i said again and again that i am a misinterpreted being. what you see isn't always what is inside. it is better that way. at least, i won't ruin other people's day by being so grudgy and all. another thing, i won't let life's miseries bring me down.

i have many things to prove, not just to myself, but to other people as well. i have a life to live, dreams to fulfill, and tomorrow to conquer.

childish mode

hehe. para akong binugbog ng sampung elepante...

paano kasi, ngayon ay ang event ng UP BROADCSTERS' GUILD na pinamagatang DANAK: May uwian pa bang magaganap?

i wasn't able to stay long though because i have to go home early. actually, i really needed to go home by one, but i really do not want to miss the org event so i stayed for a while.

guessture rulez!!! lalo na ang mga banat ni julius at dear buddy bambam.

next event: touchball na super nakakangarag kasi ang ganda ng playing area. hehe.

ang intramusros... bow

we are required to go to intramuros today as part of the coursework in PI 100 under ma'am mary jane rodriguez. we'll, today, i tried my luck to go to an adventure by going by myself there on a new route. well, i went home safely, so most probably, i am successful in my endeavor. hehe.

well, i got darker today. thanks to the long walk that we had in intramuros...

what else can i share. got freebies from the souvineir shop in bahay chinoy. hehe.

chack my pics at http://www.picturetrail.com/makey_upd. i am having a hard time uploading it here for reasons i do not know as of the moment.

kain galore

most of my family members are amazed at my eating prowess now. well, i need to admit that i eat a lot more now than before...

bakit kaya?

in all defense naman, i don't think i have what they call anacondas in my stomach. alam ko wala, kasi... basta alam ko wala!

hehe

haaaaay... orientation na naman

last night, i went home at around 8 pm because i attended the orientation for the 14 application process of up broadcasters' guild.

time has such mystery... i still see myself in that position last semester... attending the orientation as an applicant... trying to fit in...

and now, i am a proud member of the said organization, being a part of the education committee, etc.

tapos kanina kakaaliw yung ad talk namin. saya talaga.

updates!

sorry, if i do not post that much recently. i spend most of my time doing school and org works. but i promise that as soon as i have the time to update you more on the things that are happening in my life, i'll post longer stuffs!

yesterday, went shopping with my family. it's so tiring, but it's all worth it. i was telling my orgmate michelle that the only thing that stopped me from buying stuffs was the fact that i have negative value of money. even the ones that were with me spent their money for some of my stuffs. and now, i have to think of ways to repay them, soon!

then, today, i realized that i haven't lost my artistic abilities. my sister asked me to do home-made candles for their advent wreath in school. (will be posting the pics as soon as i have upladed it from the cam phone.) with all the materials, i didn't expect the candles to look that way...

well, i even cooked rice topping meals for dinner. hehe. kewl.

sometimes, i am surprised that i can do those stuffs myself. hehe.

one possible explanation is that i am inspired...

grabeh...

balik sa haggard mode ang buhay ko...

lalo na kapag mondays...

i have a class from 830-10. tapos break galore from 10-1.

but it doesn't end there!!!!

1-4: radio production class sa cmc...

4-530: bio sa pav 4...

530-7: vc 137 sa FA...

how i wish that i can fly... (better yet, i have a car. i think that is more feasible than flying...)

Team Building Seminar

Armi's mom, ma'am annabelle, facilitated the team building seminar of the UP BROADCASTERS' BUILD.

well, what more can i say? i love UP BROADGUILD!

this day, i had a taste of marketing stuff. who would not remember cherish who really who asked for a proposal paper jsut for 80 burgers!???!?!?!?! (i'm not making fun of you cherish ha, you are so cute when you act mataray... because you are not mataray!!!!)

hehe.

thanks guys! you really are a family away from home.

stressed out

slowly, stress is eating me out. all the things that i have done for the enlistment process made me a bit grouchy and at times, moody.

haaaayyyy... if only i am with someone who could take all of these negative things away.

i miss you...

swollen leg muscles and mst subjects...

i have been walking almost everywhere... practically all science buildings in UP just to get a slot for my last mst class.

i have witnessed all forms of barbaric ways just to enlist in a subject... i have been a victim of these harsh ways.

anyways, my swollen legs need a time out. after all, i got an mst class before the day ended! yahoo!!!!!

tired but happy...

i woke up early this morning because i have to enrol today. i knew that i have a lot to do because i wasn't able to get all my subjects online. i have to enrol manually.

i managed to arrive at the campus at 7 am. however, all i did was to wait until 11:30 am to get my form 5a.

haaayyy... and thanks to the darn tri-coll policy, i can't get my subjects until tomorrow.

malapit na pasukan

lately, busy ako sa exercise, pagtulog at pagkain. i can't do that anymore pag me classes na kasi hahatiin ko nanaman ang katawan ko to do all things. hehe...

gained a few pounds this sem break, buti na lang, di masyadong fats... hehe

isa pa, pakiramdam ko, marami-rami ring calories ang ibuburn ko sa manual enlistment kasi 12 units lang nakuha ko sa online registration...

the tale of juliet

all of us do have dreams. unfortunately, not all of us have the guts to make it come true.

well, things have changed for me from the moment i met ms jhet torcelino van ruyven, the author of the tale of juliet.

she inspired me. and i know she will inspire you too. drop her a message at jhet@thetaleofjuliet.com. she will be going to cebu and bacolod so watch out for her. ciao!

distance is but numbers

distance is but numbers
i always tell myself
to disregard the space between us
to kill the longing, the pain
because distance is but numbers

Unearthing Idealism

Idealism: For a long time, I tried to disregard the word and bury it beneath the piles of complaints that I have regarding almost all aspects of my life. One could say that pessimism got the best in me. It engulfed my whole personality. It ate the very essence of human existence: dreaming big, and the pursuit to make it come true.

Someone asked me a few days ago, if I do have dreams of seeing this country prosper. I do. But pessimism just comes around even if unsolicited. With the poignant wish to see this land in its glory comes a thousand and one reasons why it is hard to do so and even a greater number of names to blame for all the miseries. May I say that I am not alone in wishing a better future for the country, and that I am not the only person in this land that has been eaten up by negative thinking.

I have lost track of my vision because of the kind of thinking that I had. I slowly seem to lose grip of my goals while trying to grab dreams that seem easier to achieve. Pessimism took the place of courage. The drive to move slowly decelerated and ceased. With that aspect, one can say that pessimism goes hand in hand with apathy and cowardice.

For so long, I lived with pessimism. But things changed a few days ago after listening to persons who kept the fire of optimism burning. I was moved to junk the negative kind of thinking, trying to replace it with something that I had before: idealism.

Looking back, I realized that pessimism did deprive me a lot of things. I allowed myself to let opportunities pass my way. I allowed myself to just look at things as it unfolds right before my very eyes. But what bothers me the most now is the fact that it is happening to this very country. Pessimism deprives us of chances to make things better for all of us.

Complaints are the visible feedbacks to the chaos that surrounds us. With all these complaints, it is safe to assume that as a nation, we have an idea of the predicaments that we are facing. But awareness is not enough. More so, complaining does not end the sufferings. It adds up, bringing our spirits down with us.

Wouldn’t it be better to be aware, to stop complaining and start moving? Wouldn’t it be better to trace back to the days where we are all idealistic of things? When we had the guts to do what our heart desires? When we all have high hopes that all would end well?

I am slowly clearing the piles that I had made. I am slowly unearthing the idealism that I had buried years ago. I am not done yet, but it made me better. Why don’t you start unearthing yours too?

cross roads

i was at mcdo with RD, happy but confused.
i can say that i am at a crossroad in my life. i think that it is quite early since i haven't finished my studies, but that is how i feel.

now, i feel that all my goals in the past were so practical in such a way that i forgot what i really wanted.

i am reorienting myself, finding the piece of earth that i can call my own. I guess finding a job and earning money isn't a very clear objective.

but whatever my plans would be, i know that my family will be a part of it...

The alchemist

"Yesterday is history;
tomorrow is mysetry;
today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present. "

received a very wonderful book from RD this day. I was expecting a letter because i asked for one. but when we met today, RD handed me a jacket, and asked me to remove it to reveal what is inside...

"THE ALCHEMIST BY PAULO COEHLO
A fable about following your dream

I am not yet done reading the whole thing, but there are many lessons that i have learned form just a part of it. Here are some of the lines that made me think and contemplate on my life:

1. The jacket has a purpose. And so did the boy.

2. It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.

3. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how others should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.

4. The world’s greatest lie is the belief in fate controlling our lives.

5. To realize one’s personal legend is a person’s only real obligation

6. If you want something, all the universe conspires in helping to achieve it.

7. In the long run, what other people think becomes more important that the personal legend.

8. There was nothing to hold him back except himself.

9. God has prepared paths for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he has left for you

10. The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels in the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.

11. I am like everyone else- I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen- not what actually does.

12. .. he was happy, aware of what his life was about, and ready to begin a day’s work

13. All things are one.

well, i am trying very well now to live life as it should be.

i implore you to read the book as well. it did a lot to me. i know it will do a lot to you too.

Superfest: Celebrating Pinoy Youth Breakthrough

After a long time of spending my time at home (or my friends’ house), I went out to attend a seminar sponsored by PDI and GMA 7.

I am so bothered. I feel restless. I felt that I found the direction that I was looking for so long.

I spent DOLLARS today.

Yeah. You have read it right. I spent thousands of dollars today, bought properties, etc.

Hehe.

Why? Because today is monopoly day with my high school friends!

Come to think of it, monopoly world is quite queer, especially if you play with us. We kinda modified some rules, and added some of our own.

Well, in our “pirated” monopoly game, there is such a thing as last will. For those who really have to leave, they have to divide the assets to the remaining players…

And no one is allowed to leave without paying all their dues.

In this game, most players wanted to stay in jail. Instead of moving around, with the risk of landing on hotels and monopolized railroads and services, players do opt to stay in jail.

I do hope I have lots of money to do that in real life…

But come to think of it…

I have mykebs.

That is more than enough to make me happy. That is more than having lots of things in the world. Besides, if I do have lots of things, but I don’t have RD, it wouldn’t be as happy…

who you are makes a difference

yeah. tell that to your special someone too.

courtesy of the chicken soup book

i am sick

i do have colds right now, feeling a bit chilly kahit mainit ang panahon. i hate this feeling...

pero somebody called me kanina. that is all there is to it; it made me better...

grrrrr....

I really haven't slept last night because i was too busy installing programs on my PC. I also have to type my sister's papers due the next day. It's ok, though. Many insomniac cyberfriends joined me until the wee hours.

well, was i able to tell you that my dog bit me! A few inches near my groin! I was panicking! PANICKING!!!! Got anti-tetanus shots... well, i think my dog got the idea that he did something wrong because the whole day, he did not approach me.

what a day it was...

we woke up early today. my family decided to go shopping today. the three-day sale will end today, so we took the opportunity to lose some pounds while strolling (or should i say managing to move past the crowd?)

First stop: Jumbo japs. we were truly amazed at the girl outside the store, doing some nice business talk. we were so amazed that we found ourselves walking into the store. The food is nice, i should say. BUT NOT THE SERVICE! my mom just got furious because of the slow service.

And for the first time ever, my brother did not ask for a second serving of rice. He just lost his appetite because of the measly customer treatment we got! One thing is for sure: we will be a Tokyo Tokyo officionado from that moment on! Hmmmp!

After the frustrating incident at Jumbo Japs, we went to the grocery area to grab some home items. On our way inside, this weird girl kept on following us. We thought she is a thief, trying to get hold of my brother's phone. But soon enough, we found out that she's crazy. She kept on following us, calling my mom her mom! Hello?! i wish you should have seen the person. She is way older than my mom. we panicked when she grabbed my mom's arms while we were trying to escape.

we saw this guard and reported the incident to him.

The question still remains: How did that girl get in the mall? She is dirty, with that scary stare.
I was actually thinking that maybe that was a spoof or something. Maybe, wow mali is in sm marilao or something like that.
my siblings were really scared because of what happened. who wouldn't?

we went home, tired and frustrated.
but things are just turning out well for me.

mom and i decided to go back to buy the PC that we saw. haha!

childhood...

well,it has been a long time since i went out with my high school friends. good thing, the group planned a monopoly/card game day at dada's house.

honestly, because it has been a long time (4 years), i forgot the way to dada's house. the only thing that i remembered is that her house is near the huge watertank in the subdivision.
got there safely after finding the huge tank!

many things happened on this day. it seems that we went a bit back our childhood days with all the activities that we did. we only realized that it was night when we went out to take a picture.
childish as we were during that time, we decided to catch fireflies. dada kept on reminding us that fireflies can only be seen on clean surroundings. eric caught one firelfy, but the poor thing managed to escape.

while the others were busy trying to catch the luminous creatures, cathits and i were dumbfounded. we saw this cute falling star. we were able to say a word only after it has vanished.

"Meteor!"

After a few more attempts, we were able to catch another firefly. we placed it in this diskette case.

this day, i felt that i was only a high school student... nothing on my mind except fireflies and meteors, playing games, teasing everyone, posing for photo-ops. The only thing that brought me back to reality is the fact that after the childhood stuffs, i have to go home.
besides, there is someone that i truly miss today. no matter how hard i try not to miss RD, i can't. I just can't.

S-A-L-E!!!

well, me and my siblings planned to go to sm marilao for the three-day sale. we went with our lola who wholeheartedly offer to buy some stuffs for us. hehe

we went to greenwich afterwards to refresh my tired self...

i am living for love

these days, i live for love. mushy as it sounds, these are the days that love matters to me most.

i need to be appreciated, to be accepted, to be loved encompassingly.

more than material things, i aspire for these everyday...

the hundred secret senses by amy tan

i am currently reading the hundred secret senses by amy tan. got strucked by these lines while reading:

Love is tricky. It is never mundane or daily. You can never get used to it. You have to walk with it, then let it walk with you. You can neverbalk. It moves you like the tide. It takes you to the sea, then lays you on the beach again. Today's struggling pain is the foundation for a certain stride through the heavens. You can run from it, but you can never say no. It includes everyone...

sa dilim...

Sa akin ang dilim. Wala nang iba pang aangkin
Sa dilim kung saan ako'y maligaya
Sa dilim na ako ay ako, siya ay siya.

Sa akin ang dilim. Wala nang dapat ipangamba.
Sa pagkat sa dilim, ako'y di na nag-iisa.
Sapagkat sa dilim, ang ako at siya ay kami.

i didn't mean to make you cry

You know that. I don't have any reasons to do so. I love you so much.

I feel so bad now. i made you feel something that you do not deserve to feel. A person like you don't deserve to be treated this way.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that i am isolating myself. I do have problems that I have to face alone.

Don't blame yourself for things that are happening to me. All of these things, these are consequences of all my acts in the past.

I am me. You are you. And I love you.

You are one of the best things that happened to me. Always remember that.

nietzche is nietzsche, i am me

nietzsche gave the society about the concept of the superman- a person who overcomes the conventions and expectations of the society to live life as it should be.

now, i do hope i am a superman, a person who gives no concern about how others perceive me, a person who lives according to my own standards.

unfortunately, i am not... i still belong to this society. i am chained to it... i am at its scrutiny.

tulala pero maraming gagawin

bakasyon na ang utak ko. pero ang dami pang gagawin bago ko masabi na tapos na ang semestreng ito.

i have to finish a 30-page documentary script, 2 15-page essays and i have to study for an exam.

the seven wonders of the world

i was scanning through my old emails, trying to look for a file that i need. then something got my attention, an email that i wasn't able to read just because it is forwarded:

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were thepresent "Seven Wonders of the World." Though there were somedisagreements,the following received the most votes:
1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. Taj Mahal
3. Grand Canyon
4. Panama Canal
5. Empire State Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one studenthad not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl ifshe was having trouble with her list. The girl replied,"Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

1. To See
2. To Hear
3. To Touch
4. To Taste
5. To Feel
6. To Laugh
7. And to Love."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and thatwe take for granted are truly wondrous!

A gentle reminder --that the most precious things in life cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

Well, it's true.Everyday, we struggle to aspire for things that we thought are the greatest, something that can complete us if we will achieve it. However, in the process, we tend to neglect and forget the things that really matter.

Take it from me. Been there. Done that. But lately, i just felt like appreciating small things that came along my way. These blessings may be small, but these add up to build lasting, happy memories.

masaya na malungkot

masaya ako pagkagising ko kasi katabi ko yung hanky na bigay sa akin ni RD. Ang sarap ng tulog ko

kaso, namimiss ko siya. sobra. honestly, i was expecting na makakasama ko siya the whole day kahapon. pero ganun talaga ang buhay. masaya anga bawat sandali na kasama ko si RD, at sino ba namang tao ang ayaw na maging masaya ng matagal diba?

malungkot din ako kasi nung maghiwalay kami kahapon e may nararamdaman siyang masama. kung pwede nga lang sana na ako na lang ang makaramdam ng sakit na nararamdaman niya. kagabi, hindi ko alam kung paano papagaanin ang pakiramdam niya. Gusto ko siyang yakapin, pero hindi ko alam kung paano. Nakakaguilty na imbis na nagpapahinga siya, sinamahan pa niya ako.

eto ako, malungkot na masaya... nagmamahal...

dance mode!

well, today marked the end of mass media awareness month: a project of the college of mass communication, university of the philippines, diliman.

what's memorable? this actually is the first time i will be dancing as a new member of the up broadcasters' guild!

and the song happened to be "la gasolina", a song very close to my heart because it is the same song i used in my individual performance during the application process.

well, it is quite tiring, but there is something in me that drives me to be so hyperactive!

TOMORROW IS OCTOBER 1, 2005!

trust and love

I TRUST YOU
is a better compliment than
I LOVE YOU
because you may not always trust
the one you love
but believe me
you can always love the person
you trust for the rest of your life.

sender:
+63927***86**

well, i am not into keeping text messages like these. i erase them as soon as i read the content. But not this text.
my friend allowed me to read this message. and it struck me. hard. so i asked her to send it to me.

trsut and love... we often hear these words. but we cannot always say that it is always present.

this text struck me hard because i know how it feels to love someone you trust so much. distance is but nothing with trust and love.

but being this weak person that i am, i cannot help but feel insecure sometimes. and i am not alone in this predicament.

my friend and I talked about this (trust and love) at the tambayan this afternoon.

here are some points raised regarding the issue:

1. you cannot control what the person is thinking about you. and that is so scary. uncontrollable things just pop out and ruin things when you least expect it.

2. feelings are subjective. and it is not a concrete thing to be measured. who loves who more just cannot be known. it just can't.

3. same with efforts. love can be shown a number of ways. love cannot be measured by what one does (or does not).

4. conversation is the best way of trusting and loving someone. it may seem to offend at first, but in the long run, if you hide things, isn't that more offensive?

5. whereabouts are important. it may seem negligible to others, but for some, it isn't.

well, all i can say is that love and trust are two things that cannot be separated. when i said i am in love, it also means to say, i entrust you with who i am, and who i will be when i am with you.

globe sucks!!!

it has been three days since i wasn't able to send and receive mms. grrrrrrr!!!!! as much as i wanted to update my pix at friendster and picturetrail.

actually, i am talking to a globe customer service representative at this very moment while i am blogging.

i just hope i can send mms messages na!!!!!!!!!

ang bagong artista

because ICE is so nice (she helped me in editing at a vey affordable cost), i said yes to her when she asked me to become one of her talent in the film she's making.

and how lucky of me to do scenes with bikoy (a very talented guy-in almost all of the productions in up diliman cmc, he's included!. i actually asked him to be my talent also in my up and coming productions!)

sunday is relaxation day

woke up early in the morning. i heard my mom screaming. nothing serious though. she just saw our dog in her room. her concern: the dog hasn't taken its bath yet. so my sister and brother, together with my mom, cleaned the dog.

we went to sm marilao afterwards. have to get my eyes checked because my head is soooo aching. my myopia is a bit ok. but not my astigmatism. so,I have new eyeglasses!!!! I didn't buy another pair of contact lenses because i might lose it again.
(i'll post my pix with my new glasses on as soon as my pc at home is working properly again. just check my site: www.picturetrail.com/makey_upd)

As soon as we got home, we had a DVD marathon of disney cartoons and movies.

i know i have a lot of things to do. But my brain just can't take any more stress. So, instead of making my stressful tasks, i just helped my sister in her soap sculpture project. I also edited my brother's advertisement campaign that will serve as his final exam in FIlipino 1.

a busy (but happy) saturday indeed!

I have to wake up early today.

reasons:

1. i have to attend the morning class of comunication 120 of prof jorda. i cannot attend the afternoon class.
2. the reason why i cannot attend the afternoon class: up broadguild induction!
3. i have to go back to up diliman to watch dulaang kapiterya of up broadass with RD.

i don't know why, but it seems that the morning class of communication 120 is happier and livelier than our class. is it because of the fact that people wanted to sleep rather than to study in the afternoon? (note: our class starts right after lunch break. the room is airconditioned.)

anyways, back to the induction! batch 13, we made it!!!!! congrats. i know, we are into a lot lately, but we still managed to go this far. however, we shouldn't forget that this is just the beginning of another chapter of our lives. finishing the application process and the induction doesn't mean an easier life for us in the organization.

hmmmm.... as for RD... it's so nice to be with the person you love! no matter how fast the pace of the world seems to me, all i need is a smile from RD to make time pass by slowly. but no matter how slow time seems to be when i am with RD, it just isn't enough. i have a whole lifetime of loving to share-something that cannot be contained in our moments.

accomplishments!!!!

it's the presentation day for our research proposal. as planned yesterday at the library, i am expected to wear a purple shirt. however, this morning, i cannot find my purple shirt. so i just grabbed something that resembled a purple shirt.

the presentation was ok. we were the first to present because the group who is supposedly going to present before us hasn't arrived yet.

another thing! i finished reading the book that ice lent me (ang paboritong libro ni judas). well, i did so because i read the book while commuting.

i can't wait to read one of bob ong's books again...

(what captivated me most in the book was the line that states:

the destination isn't important. the journey is. (trans.)

happy bday mom!

its mom's birthday today. and because it's a special day, there is no room for misunderstandings. so, we just forgot all about the phone incident last night.

lat week, my groupmates in communication research 101 planned to stay overnight at pie's house to prepare for our presentation. however, i cannot do so. FAMILY COMES FIRST. (guess who said this?) so we spent the whole afternoon at the library to finish our paper, do some planning for the presentation, etc.

edit mode

wen to ice again to finish the editing work that we started last sunday. it's fun. especially because i did most of the voices of the lifeless characters in the audio visual presentation.

so we edited from lunchtime to midnights snack time... hehe

things were going ok, though i am feeling a bit sick. until...

ring....

m: hello po.
d: nasan ka na?
m: nag-eedit pa po. pero matatapos na.
d: gabi na. umuwi ka na.
m: opo, pagkatapos po nito. nagrerender na lang po kami at mag buburn na lang po.
d: e gabi na nga. iwan mo na yan.
m: hindi po pwede. isa pa matatapos na po ito.
d: gabing gabi na. baka kung anu-ano na ang inaatupag mo diyan a. hindi na ata pag-aaral yan e.
(d ended the conversation)

i got their point. they are so worried, i know. but is this conversation (or is it more of an accusation) something well meant for a student who does almost everything to get a good grade?

haaaaayyyy.... life....

broadguild rules!!!

got the acceptance letter from up broadcasters' guild just this afternoon! at last, the application process is over! (don't get me wrong. i sooooo enjoyed the application process!)

well, before that, "away mode ako" because i forgot to bring medicine for my abdominal pain!!!! grrrr... small things really piss me off. well, it all started this morning when i woke up at 3:30am. i don't want to be late for my first class at 7 in the morning. well, i was not late. but my professor did not appear in class though. i skipped breakfast for that class, then what?

then i realized that we do that to him also. most of us do get late during class. (gumaganti?!?!?!?!)

so, i just ate breakfast at CASAA. hehe. the chicken nugget meal made my day!!!! aside from the fact that the lady who owns the stall is sooo nice. i love buying food from that stall because aside from the fact that the food is sooo delicious, you still get a bonus smile from the staff.

edit and gala mode

this day, i met ice elloso for our editing tasks. was supposed to meet her at 12 pm after the mass in up chapel. but because of heavy traffic, i arrived at the vicinity at around 12:30 pm. hehe.

however, we cannot start on time because we have to borrow a mini dv camera for the mini dv tape. so, best friend pie comes to the rescue!!!

met pie at mcdo philcoa. she's waiting for some of up castpers. took the opportunity to eat mcdo's chicken meal. heehee.

then off we went to anonas (with a stop-over at araneta center for kuya erick's jersey shopping). then, i tried my luck to go BY MYSELF at sanville (where ice lives). the last time i went there, it was dark (around 10 pm) and we have a private car.

luckily, i was able to find ice's residence alive.

* i would like to say thank you to ice's family for their hospitality.

woke up early in the morning today, knowing that RD will meet me at ten in the morning. because of my health conditions, our plan to jog didn't push through.

well, i received a text that morning. RD can't make it at ten. so, i practically spent the whole morning with maymay at the library, studying court cases for our mass media law class.

isn't it weird that when you want time to pass by as quickly as possible, it seems that it does the exact opposite of what you want? i soooo wanted the clock in my temporary phone to display 4pm.

sir jorda dismissed us an hour earlier than usual. haaaaay...

tick...tack...tick...tack... then i suddenly felt that somebody texted.

RD!!!!!

i did something special today!

wala lang! hehe.

mag-isip kayo kung ano! hehe

medicines...

have to take medicines to ease the pain i am feeling. had some kind of gastrointestinal infection. acidity sucks, in this case!!! grrrr... mind you, it's a big sacrifice for me not to drink anything carbonated. pero, eto, acidic pa rin ako!!!!! grrrr talaga!

at least, i had my well needed rest. di ako pumasok sa mga klase ko today. hehe. (at nagawa ko pang ngumiti for a pic!)

i am sick

lst night, i just felt that my abdominal area is aching. then i felt cold. the next thing i felt was my joints and muscles are sooooo aching.

"me trangkaso ka", my mom told me. she then handed me medicines and fruit juices.

nice timing noh? good thing, there is something better than medicine that can give me comfort. rd called last night. what a relief!

totoo siya for me and rd.

ur birth date describes who you are, what
you're
good at, and what your inborn abilities are. It also
points to what you have to learn and the
challenges
you are facing.


To figure out your Birth Number, add all the
numbers in the birth date together, like in the
example, until there is only one digit.
A Birth Number does not prevent you from being
anything you want to be; it will just color your
choice differently and give you a little insight.

Example: March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 =1973
1 + 9 + 7 + 3 =20
2 + 0 =2
2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in
the example.

..1 THE ORIGINATOR
..2 THE PEACEMAKER
..3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
..4 THE CONSERVATIVE
..5 THE NONCONFORMIST
..6 THE ROMANTIC
..7 THE INTELLECTUAL
..8 THE BIG SHOT
..9 THE PERFORMER
--------------------------------------------------------------
.. 1 - THE ORIGINATOR
1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and
executing them is natural. Having things their own
way is another trait that gets them as being
stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest
and do well to learn some diplomacy skills. They
like to take the initiative and are often leaders or
bosses.
-----
..2 - THE PEACEMAKER
2's are the born diplomats. They are aware
ofothers'needs and moods and often think of
others
be fore themselves.
Naturally analytical and very intuitive they don't
like
to be alone. Friendship and companionship is very
important
and can lead them to be successful in life.
-----
.. 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
3's are idealists. They are very creative,
social,charming, romantic, and easygoing. They
start many things, but don't always see them
through. They like others to be happy and go to
great lengths to achieve it. They are very popular
and idealistic.
-----
.. 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE
4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and
routine. They only act when they fully understand
what they are expected to do. They like getting
their hands dirty and working hard. They are
attracted to the outdoors and feel an affinity with
nature.
-----
.. 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST
5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk
taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot
water. They need diversity, and don't like to be
stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and
they see a learning possibility in every situation.
-----
.. 6 - THE ROMANTIC
6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be
happy. A strong family connection is important to
them. Their actions influence their decisions. They
have a strong urge to take care of others and to
help. They are very loyal and make great teachers.
They like art or music. They make loyal friends
who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn
to differentiate between what they can change
and
what they cannot.
-----
.. 7 - THE INTELLECTUAL
7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden
information, they find it difficult to accept
things at
face value. Emotions don't sway their decisions.
Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be
questioned themselves. They're never off to a fast
start, and their motto is slow and steady wins the
race.
-----
.. 8 - THE BIG SHOT
8's are the problem solvers. They are professional,
blunt and to the point, have good judgment and are
decisive. They have grand plans and like to live
the
good life. They take charge of people. They view
people objectively. They let you know in no
uncertain terms that they are the boss.
-----
..9 - THE PERFORMER
9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring
and generous, giving away their last dollar to help.
With their charm, they have no problem making
friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They are
most of the time the life of very event,makin sure
evry1 is havin a gr8 tym

__________________________________
my birth number: 5
rd's birth number: 1
my sister kae's number: 5
my brother norman's number: 1
my mom's number: 6
my dad's number: 2
my grandma's number: 4

i can say that it is quite true.

right now, i am trying not to conform to the dictates of the society.
well, for one, conforming to the norms does not necessarily mean that a person is doing the right thing.
and if trying to "deviate from the norms" will make you happy, go on. we have separate lives to live. as long as it will not hurt anyone in the process, make yourself happy! Aja! ( the net owner is currently playing the lovers in paris soundtrack. )

as for rd, it is also true. rd is a born leader. i can attest to that.

conquer!

received an email from the voice of the youth philippines today. they are inviting me to their radio shows every saturday at RADIO UNO (DZME 1530)

sad... for this semester, i have an afternoon class (commnication 120- mass media laws)

the song of the moment

i finally found someone

I finally found someone, who knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one, who makes me feel complete
We started over coffee**, we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin

This time it's different (dah dah dah dah)
It's all because of you (dah dah dah dah)
It's better than it's ever been
Cause we can talk it through

My favorite line was "Can I call you sometime?"
It's all you had to say to take my breath away
This is it, oh

I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone (ooh, someone)
I finally found someone (ooh)

Did I keep you waiting (I didn't mind)
I apologize (baby, that's fine)
I would wait forever just to know you were mine
And I love your hair (sure it looks right?)
I love what you wear (isn't it too tight?)
You're exceptional I can't wait for the rest of my life
This is it, oh

I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone (ooh, someone)
I finally found someone (ooh)

Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone

**friendster (hehe)

inspired

i am living one of those days that i am so inspired. i want to live like this forever. there are many things to do, and mind you, i feel like doing all that i can in these moments.

i decided to continue my journal. i, again, will keep my goals on the journal, and i'll monitor if there are improvements.

i want to pursue my mission of conquering (just what my second name implies: vincent- conqueror). today, my life, tomorrow, the world.

**RD, thanks for being my inspiration. i hope, i also play the same role in your life.

i felt happier in the past few days. well, there are many things that happened to me that triggered me to feel happiness in the real sense.

one factor is the feeling that you get when you long for a person after days of not seeing each other. then, you'll have the opportunity to let the person feel how much you have longed for the hugs and kisses. it's as if you own the world, and there is no one else in it. never mnd the rain. I was with RD! haaaayyyy...

i finally found someone... hehe. what else can be happier.

then there is the feeling that you are being loved by the person you love the most. there may be the physical distance between us, but i know that RD is somewhere, out there loving me from afar.

then there is the sense of satisfaction and contentment with all the things that i have done while attending the student leaders' convention sponsored by the USC. aside from gaining a lot of friends, the UP GRIFFIN seems to have hope after all.

then, slowly, i am patching things upo with my family after a long series of misunderstanding. it's not a big issue though. they just felt that i am being so secretive in the past months. they miss the old me who tells stories almost all of the time.

some of my friends told me that i lost my wallet and phone because something better will come my way. well...

the ups and downs of life

many things happened during those days that i wasn't able to post...

i met with R.D at UP some days back. R.D. saw that i am sooo perspiring, so R.D. handed me a hanky. It was weird for me to feel at ease with a person that i just met. R.D. was different. And i knew, there is much more thing here than friendship.

then i started feeling something special for R.D. During the times that we were together, i feel so calm, refreshed, secured, so at ease as if i have no problems to take care of. while watching the movie last tuesday, i almost forgot about the world. my full attention revolved on R.D. alone.

we met again just this thursday. we ate lunch together, and R.D. accompanied me while i was waiting for my class to start. while eating, we started to discuss about our status. i agree with R.D. we are not officially "us" but we act as if we were. what touched me most is that when R.D. said something about being ready for a relationship, but is willing to wait for me. if R.D. isn't the kind of person that is so worthy to be loved, then i think no one is worth loving.

R.D. and I became "us" (officially) last thursday. i couldn't want more. having R.D. made me complete. i am overwhelmed myself, with all these that are happening to me.

i always wear the ring that R.D. gave me. and somehow, the ring eases away the longing that i feel whenever we cannot see each other.

with all the things that i mentioned above, i should be very happy. i do. love-wise.

however, last friday, on my way to school, i lost my wallet and cellphone. i am so sad. really sad. aside from that, i even lost the hanky that R.D. gave me, and my contact lenses and the first love letter that R.D. gave to me. Good thing, R.D. went to the rescue. we met that day. and as usual, R.D.'s hug consoled me.

i can say that R.D.'s hug is a therapy. It soothes me. and whenever I look at R.D., i just cannot stop myself from smiling.

then yesterday, while we were preparing for our final production, R.D. texted. R.D. wanted to be there at the production. at first, i really don't want R.D. to go there, because i might be conscious (my role isn't as normal). But i really wanted to be with R.D. well, instead of being conscious, i am so inspired, just because R.D. exerted effort to be there for me. although R.D. has to work early, R.D. sacrificed some time of sleep.

now, i am sad, because of the things that i lost. moreso, i am so sad that i cannot text R.D., and we won't see each other today. all that i can do is type this, while looking at R.D.'s pictures in my PC.

**I met R.D. at friendster. We then chatted and found out about our similarities. it is as if R.D. is my alter ego. but now, i feel that R.D. is my soulmate.

hai!!!!!

kailangan ko nang matuto ng lethal martial arts! kailangang paghandaan ang mga susunod sa pangyayari. baka kasi habang nasa masscomm ako ay may mamukhaan akong babaeng nananangga ng panga. eto ang buong istorya:

august 24, 2005. ang mga guilder at ang mga fg ay nakadilaw. bakit? ito ang dakilang go samaskom event. may palaro. so join ang taong nakadilaw.

keri na ang lahat. maliban sa bwakanang water fight kung saan tinamaan ang sensitibo kong panga. so just imagine na after the event, di ako makanguya at makahalakhak. and take note: ang taong nakasangga ng sensitibo kong panga ay isang babae. no, isa siyang halimaw.

well, kung nasaktan ako ng lagay na iyon, what more itong si rodel na binato sa mukha ng waterbag na hindi pa open. grrrrrrr talaga!!!!!!

so the next time na may ganitong event. labu-labo na!!!!! grrrrr...

well, ngayong araw naman na ito at acle day. at ang topic ng broadguild for acle ay online rpg's. honestly, di talaga ako hayok sa online gaming. masaya na ako sa mga walang kwentang games sa pc ko. at kung nakita mo ang isang participant sa acle kanina, magdadalawang isip ka kung gagamitin mo ang free 25 hour trial account. ganun ba talaga ang epekto ng online gaming?

first things first

haaaaay! sa tagal kong di nag-online, pakiramdam ko di ko na alam kung ano ang unang ikukuwento ko. ang hirap pa naman sa life ko e ang kulay. dapat di mami-miss ang isang episode, kung hindi, nobela ang labas ng susunod na blog entry.

saan ko ba sisimula? well, i am getting along well with 11 people na batch mates ko sa bagong org na sinasalihan ko ngayong sem- ang up broadcasters guild. si cherish- ang dakila naming batch head at partner ko sa shows sa dzup lalo na ang sari-saring tinig 12:30-1 pm. (mag-plug daw ba!), si jali, rodel, chris, kai, dan, karol, freya, trish, julius at bebang! kami ang batch 13 na F.G. sa sem na ito.

we are done with the panel na so yung batch project na lang at ang final prod namin na kailangan naman talagang paghandaan ng lubusan. we only have less than a month to do those things.

ano pa ba? hmmm...

we went to libis last saturday para sa extension party ng best friend ko na si pie. siguro, naging momnet na rin yun to release the stress na nararamdaman ko. ang hirap pa naman sa akin ay nagiging hyper acidic ako pag stressed. (does that mean na kailangan akong mag-libis more often?) hehe.

kachat ko ang long lost friend ko na ang hilig kong hampas hampasin noon. sensitive kasi. he went to US kasi eh.

tell you more soon. nakalimutan ko na kasi ang iba pang makulay na bahagi ng buhay ko sa tagal ong di nagpost. ciao!

busy days + UTI and hyperacidity

huwag na kayong masyadong iinom ng iced tea lalo na kung may tendency ka na maging acidic. ang nangyari kasi ay kakainom ko ng iced tea (i won't mention the brand), naging hyperacidic ako at nag cause ito ng UTI. i'm having heartburn right now.

katatapos lang ng exam ko for shifting sa broadcast communication. kahapon e interview ko. sana naman ok ang kalabasan ng lahat.

sana makauwi na ako sa house namin para naman may internet connection na uli ako 24/7. hindi katulad ngayon, ang dalang ko mag-net kasi tinatamad akong magpunta sa net cafe.

haaaaayyyy

after a long time ay nakapag post na rin ako...

di ako nag summer...

mag babakasyon ako after kong mabaliw sa pag-aaral...

hehe...

baka mag univ scholar ako ngayong sem... (sana naman)

nasa process na rin ako ng paglipat sa broadcast communication... sa wakas mawawala na ang bakas ng eng'g sa akin...

ngayon, mababaliw anaman ako dahil sa paghihintay ng araw na magiging legal na akong mass comm student...

sana naman this time e magka direksiyon na ang buhay ko...

nga pala tumataba na ako, pero hindi pa rin tumatangkad...

sige, til next time uli...

well...

i finished taking my mp174 exam an hour ago. now, im at the computer shop, reading my notes (in cd format) for my sts exam at 530pm. I also have a debate for my polsci 14 class at 4pm.
such a lovely day isn't it?

was reading eyin's blog a while ago. kiko texted this very interesting message at the tagboard: about going to sarah's. i am looking forward to that day.

survivor

got 4 hours of sleep lang para sa dalawang araw. plus the fact na nanakawan ako ng wallet. masakit ang kamay ko kakatype ng paper for three days. am slowly doing the tasks to be done before the sem ends. hay grabe!

** This pic pala was taken while we were meeting at the sunken garden for the class debate in polsci 14.

wazzup!

well, wala namang bago sa life ko at di ako masyadong busy:

summary of 50 plays
3 term papers
theory application paper
critique paper
personal essay regarding scriptwriting
a report
a debate
interviews
book summaries
2 script revisions
3 exams

o diba kayang kaya noh!

wahehehehe...

katatapos lang ng overnight shoot namin for a seven-minute film. hehehe. kaya bangag bangag pa ng konti. although masaya, super exhausting talaga. diba no pie? hehe.

ang mga dakilang songs for the shoot:

1. crazy for you...

you know im crazy for you
touch me once and you'll know its true
i never wanted anyone like this
it's all brand new
you'll feel it in my kiss
i'm crazy for you

at
2. joy theme song

i can win with joy in my heart
deep deep down in my heart
j-o-y joy in my heart
deep deep down in my heart...

3. ang galing galing kong gumalaw, galing kong sumayaw...

4. ye ye vonnel...

haaaaayyyy....

a perfect life

a perfect life

me and my friend michelle were chatting. as always, we talked about how confusing, how tiring, how cruel life is at the moment. wala na lang akong nasabi kundi ganun talaga ang life. well she still insisted on having a perfect life and she wants it daw now more than ever. haaaaaayyyyy...

this led me to think about the poster i saw na may little girl sa picture. siyia daw si dianne at gusto niyang humingi ng solicitation para mapuno ang 4Million para sa operation niya sa liver.

i am so lucky after all...

was reading about my friends post na bawal nang sumakay sa mrt na may cd's na suspicious looking kahit na ito ay for school or office use. sana naman alam nila kung ano ang pirated at ung personal files ano!!!! grrrrr! actually nag iinarte ako pero di ko naman concern yun kasi di naman ako sumasakay ng mrt on my way home. hehe.

walang bago sa akin, eto ngarag pa rin sa dami ng ginagawa... haaaaayyyy...

was texting a friend yesterday and the issue: about being single this coming v-day. well, sabi ko sa kanya, me klase ako noon, at puporma na lang ako for three reasons:

1. para di ma -op sa mga lovers on that day
2. para di halata na loveless ako
3. gusto ko lang!!!!!

wahehehe

alam ko!!!

was reading the tag board kanina... oo, medyo inaamag na yung site na ito sapagkat sa sobrang busy ko e wala na akong oras na i update kayo!!!! hehe. naglalakad ako last day sa ylanan ng hinarang ako ng isang high school na koreano para sa isang interview na requirement nila sa english. napakabait ko namang tao para ipagdamot ko iyon diba... pero bolero ang lolo mo! sabi ng boleronog koreano, "you seem to be a handsome boy!" hmmmmp!!!! bakit seem lang! at eto pa, may musical requirement kami sa theater scriptwriting class na kailangan kong kumanta ng solo..... well so much for fame! grabe, i have to listen to the song for two days para lang makuha ko ang tono...

i sing the body electric...

i celebrate the me yet to come...

i toast to my own reunion...

when i become one with the sun...



kanina naman, sabi ng bestfriend ko at ni kuya roel kung bakit maga ang mata ko. they even asked me kung umiyak ako. ang sagot ko:



bakit, me dahilan ba para umiyak ako... hehe



i've ben telling my friend ace na pinatay ko na ang puso ko, at kapag sobrang busy ka, nalilimutan mong me puso ka pala. hehe. ampalaya!!!!!! (bitter)

i am so busy....

hehe. am withnoe sa shop. la lang. super stressed na me. alam niyo basa sobrang stressed ko, kumain ako sa mcdo 3 days in a row... connection. eniweiz, will be doing a lot this week hanggang feb 1. so bear with me muna... hehe. walang masyadong excited sa buhay ko lately kasi nga acad mode ako.



sun sucks. di ako nakakatext at makatawag last two days, tapos wala akong signal the whole day kahapon. grrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!



hehe.



need to get a haircut. super tikwas na yung buhok ko eh....

sige. chow!

wahehehehehe

i am so busy, hindi ko na naaasikaso ang blog ko... huhuhu. my series of midterms exam will start on tuesday 1/18/05. kaya, eto magkukunwari muna ako ksa acad mode.



mas magaan ang pakiramdam ko nung mga nakaraang araw. is it because of yoga? well, siguro kasi mas calm ako. is it because of the weather? siguro, kasi ang lamig, nakakatulog ako ng sapat.



but, the true reason is that i am recognizing the presence of GOD in my life. ang korni mang pakinggan, pero ganun talaga eh. when it comes to FAITH, nakokornihan tayo. ah, basta ako, masaya s ginagawa ko. wahehehehe.



basta, stand firm, have faith, and give praises! aja!!!!!!!!



hello kay BB* chris ocampo.



* my best friend pie gave that term to chris... meaning bible buddy!

happy new year and bday!

hi guys! miss nyo na ko noh? sorri ha, kasi nung nag xmas break, talagang nagpahinga ako. hehe. ayos naman ang xmas ko, though may sakit ako nung taym na yun. pakiramdam ko nag snow sa pinas sa lamig at sa dating ng boses ko. hehe. eniweiz, hapi new year! new year's resolution,: drink 8-10 glasses of h20 everyday! hehe. masaya ang pagpasok ng taon. we went to mang jimmy's to celebrate nina's 18th bday!@ 18? pwede ang mag-bf? hmmm.... hehe. hapi bday nina!